The Forthcoming Gender – Bender Frolics

TraansMost of the Earth and likely, pilots of Unidentified Flying Objects as well are aware that the U.S.Supreme Court discovered a Constitutional right to homosexual marriage. Perhaps fewer noticed the pronouncement of the Federal Department of Justice: Transgendered students may use the bathrooms they choose to use, essentially. As the DOJ is a Federal police power agency, the “or else” is, if unvoiced, obvious enough. And it is all hilarious in the extreme or at least, seems so to us.

With only the brief contemplation afforded during the rinse phase of yesterday’s shower, these questions emerged:

First: A swimmer recruited for the Harvard women’s swim team, post enrollment, has ‘come out‘ as a transgendered man. Not only has Harvard lost a decent female swimmer for a likely non-competitive male swimmer, but political correctness will make it difficult for Harvard to even complain of being swindled. This is too delicious. (Full confession: We did not attend Harvard.)

For another point, let’s glance ahead a bit. Some women’s sports make money, tennis for instance. A number of Olympic sports do well every four years. Should we not expect a horde of ‘transgendered’ ex-men competing in those venues? How will that be prevented when government is hell-bent on forcing such folk into public bathrooms of what used to be the opposite sex? And how will this be handled in international events where some countries are for example, Moslem? Will the U.S. require two women’s teams, one for domestic and another for international competition? Will international sports exclude transgendered participants? The meetings of sports bodies should become fascinating as the rosters of high stakes women’s soccer and Olympic track and field events. Political correctness versus basic biology: Which will prevail?.

How will a women’s competitor whose history has been in men’s competition be introduced? “Next, 2014 Mens’s Champion at the same distance …” And how will the feminists deal with it? Who will want an ex-female in a men’s event?

The feminists face a Harvard-like conundrum here, seems to us: What happens when an ex male runs for the presidency of a feminist group? She should be able to claim unique qualification, right? And she won’t be lying as was the white woman recently driven from the leadership an an NAACP chapter for faking blackness. Someone ought to sell seats …

Will recent operatic tenors demand the right to sing “Brunhilde?” (Sometimes we admit to having had difficulty ascertaining operatic gender …)

Then, ballet. Imagine a transgendered danseur noble dancing “Les Sylphide” … if you can. Or for that matter, vice-versa. We still have a hard time with the idea of a straight female firefighter carrying us down a ladder from the 14th floor in a hotel fire, never mind this “trans” stuff.

Closer to home, we imagine perfectly normal (which is to say, sex-mad) male teens claiming the right to the girls’ bathrooms in hordes. The girls will be safe in the boys’ facilities, until the word gets out.

It will solve one long-lasting human problem though; no worries anymore when someone leaves something to a “first born son, say. A first born daughter can step up to qualify. Lawyers (male and female) must be salivating.

We anticipate less prepossessing issues, too. A skirt and use of the ladies’ room no longer guarantees the equipment under the clothing. We anticipate that some would-be rapists are in for a shock.

Gender without its traditional rules, is shaping up as an adventure. An adventure that will likely enrich lawyers and psychiatrists, confound cops and very likely teach most of us more than we really wan t to know. It will add an entire new volume to the Library of Human Comedy. Perhaps there is something to be learned from the more fundamentalist Moslems: They have had to wonder what’s under the street clothing since the 7th century …

For now, sit back and enjoy the show!

About Jack Curtis

Suspicious of government, doubtful of economics, fond of figure skating (but the off-ice part, not so much) Couple of degrees in government, a few medals in figure skating; just reading and suspicion for economics ...
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