JP Morgan Chase Bank wrote customers that cash is no longer allowed in safe deposit boxes. More will follow; anonymous cash is too hard for government to follow or shut off when desired …
Russia is slashing space funding to meet the economic crisis resulting from its invasion of Ukraine and the Oily Arabs’ flood of cheap, anti-U.S. fracking product. (Will the economic pincers weaken or reinforce Russia’s attacks on its neighbors?)
In Philadelphia, the Transit Agency paid $2.8 M to consultants on how to save money. (Send the city managers with the Mars Expedition?)
Puerto Rico is broke, joining places like Illinois and California. Maybe it’s becoming serious about becoming the first Spanish-speaking state? (Before Florida or California?)
The Feds are recruiting 9M present green card residents to acquire citizenship before the 2016 election. (Mainly we assume, those who aren’t presently voting?)
The Federal Treasury report of the amount of national debt remained unchanged at last report, for 41 days. We guess that it’s the reporting, not the spending, that is frozen. (Well, the Big Boss was trained in Chicago, wasn’t he? And shutting down government reports is easier than shutting down government.)
Some Professor got print space saying that Christianity is a “white supremacist patriarchy.” (Yeah, like Judaism, Islam, the Mormons and others with Biblical and other ancient roots. Funny too how only the Judeo-Christians produced our modern world …)
U.S. Special Operations troops operated last year in 81 different countries. (What are taxpayers receiving for all the money they owe on account of it?)
A Surgical Robot: Hacked. (Yes, hackers got to a robot used for surgery.) We guess that “If you build it, they will come.” And some of them will be burglars! Or maybe, just cutups?
The “7 Yr. Switch” is a new TV series on order. Couples married for 7 years trade mates for two weeks and report on the show … (Yeah, it’s real wife-swapping on TV). (We’re waiting for “Sexting With The Stars.)
Global Warming has finally hit reality: The world scientific body sitting on top has been forced to appoint a bigshot panel of scientists to investigate the no longer ignorable charges of fiddled temperature data. It appears that earlier temperatures were reduced and later ones raised to provide the desired “warming” evidence. (You hadn’t heard this, right?)
Hillary Clinton said that that religious objections to reproductive health imposed by government will have to be changed. (Recorded, too.) (She’ll show God who’s in charge …)
Some 30% of Eurozone Government Debt now trades at negative interest rates. (Yes, it means lenders are paying borrowers to take the money.) We are advised to expect a historic default. This is so ridiculous as to be unbelievable … but it’s happening!
In 25% of US Families, no one works. (Hmnn … Wonder what percentage of households with workers include a marriage?) What kind of living standard can be expected when 25% are freeloading on the others?
Tattoos may stop an Apple Watch? (A tattoo may interfere with the watch, per Apple.)
At the Kentucky Derby: Dozens of winning horses proved to have been drugged. (Duh!) We already know about professional bike riders and ball players, c’mon!
Two black Women brawled over a mall parking place as their kids watched.
Disney replaced American IT department workers with H-1B visa foreigners. (Cheaper, betcha!)
The New Black Panthers leader: “We are willing to kill for the Black Nation.” (Yeah; kill the whites and then, who’s gonna support you?)
Obamacare: Nearly half of state exchanges are financially troubled. (Because “Affordable Care” is unaffordable?)
A naked woman was arrested after chasing her boyfriend with a knife. (Actually, one might say that she was sharply dressed …)
And so expires another week’s dose of surreality …