Samurai Sword Waving Bishop Rescues Neighbor

sword AttackIf you read that: A Mormon Bishop Rescues Neighbor from a Stalker Using a Samurai Sword, would you believe it? And if you believed it, how would you expect it to play in the liberal media? Assuming of course, that it played at all. You’ll find if you click on the link, that it’s a genuine story, I didn’t make it up. Let’s consider…

We learned from Romney’s presidential campaign that Mormons are bad guys, at least compared to Obama. And the Mormon in today’s story was a bishop, no less. A Mormon on steroids! And a 4th Dan black belt, too…with a 29-inch Samurai sword, which he carried to the rescue of his screaming neighbor when the stalker appeared.

We recall the apocryphal news story headline when a young man who saved a toddler’ from a lion’s cage at the city zoo was identified as a Republican campaign worker. The liberal city paper, ran the story under the headline: “Republican Steals Lion’s Lunch.”

So with this in mind, how would the Mormon Bishop be expected to appear? “Rampaging Mormon Official Chops Off Helpless Neighbor’s Visitor’s” might do. Or perhaps: “Mormon Ninja Assaults Visitor Attracted By Neighbor.” Or, “Blade Waving Mormon Bishop Goes After   Undocumented Guest While Neighbor Screams.” Any of these will do, right?

Personally, I find the idea of a black-belt neighbor coming to my aid voluntarily a really delightful form of deja-vu, with or without sword. That’s not the sort of behavior one expects in our new Liberal paradise, is it? It’s not approved; the approved behavior is to yell at your neighbor to call 911 just before you run inside and lock the doors. It’s the governments’ job to save folks. After all, if we were to think of saving ourselves, we’d probably start wanting our own weapons…

Which brings up the next phase of Liberal reporting on the good Bishop: his sword. Can’t have swords in public hands; swords can kill people! Why, all know that a sword has no use at all for any other purpose; you can’t even hunt with one! And history shows that a sword carried by any peasant was a death penalty offense; only the ruling class was allowed such weapons. Mormons are not seen as members of today’s ruling class, are they? Very bad! The Bishop must have been insane; no rational thinker does such things! We have to amend the headline (while being grateful that Romney was properly rejected) to something more like: “High-Ranked Mormon Madman Invades Neighbor, Assaults Undocumented Visitor While Helpless Neighbor Screams.” Then we need to investigate why the mad Mormon wasn’t promptly arrested!

About Jack Curtis

Suspicious of government, doubtful of economics, fond of figure skating (but the off-ice part, not so much)
This entry was posted in Culture, Domestic Policy, History, Homeland Security, Hunters, Liberals, Liberty, Police, Politics, Republicans, Safety and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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