Federal Government Cannot Duck This!

DucksWhen the politicians get together with science it’s wise to count your change, keep your hands in your purse or pocket and don’t look to either side. Weather science, adding alcohol to gasoline, ‘sustainable’ energy sources and a bunch more fronts for separating the public from its money are testimony enough, one would think. But so many are in on the   grift, profiting from the scams, that they can be harder to kill than cockroaches. But this latest Fed Study deserves some kind of prize, seems to me, though I’m unsure exactly what would be in order.

This chronicles a Federal study funded with some $385,000 of your (and my) money. A minor bump on the government highway, you might say, and you’ll be right. So why am I so bemused by it? Because the subject of the government-sponsored inquiry is: “Plasticity in duck penis length.” I will leave you to consider this for a moment.

Frankly, I don’t care how long any particular duck’s equipment may be or how much variation there is. Ducks, I’m sure, feel differently, if so, let them fund such projects, don’t use government power to force me to pay for them!

What will they do, anyway, send men and women in lab coats out with tape measures? Interview passing ducks? Inspect duck parts in the kitchens of Chinese restaurants? Given the way government does things,none of those would surprise me and in any case, I’ll never trust the accuracy of any reported measurements. It seems certain that the duck lobby will be paying off to assure that all measurement error is on the high side…ducks are, I’m certain, no less ambitious than the rest of us. The next time ‘Peking Duck’ appears on a menu, I may avert my eyes…

Finally, this is the sort of thing that gets into Congressional appropriations as ‘pork’ though in this case, it’s duck. That means, someone wanted it enough to pay off..uh, excuse me, to ‘lobby’ some Congressperson for it. I still cannot figure out why anyone would go to that much trouble for this particular information.

Somewhere, there is a very disturbed individual with too much money and too much time on his/her/its hands and whose Facebook site, I don’t even wish to think about. You may want to visit it though, after all, you’re paying for the work, whatever it consists of…

About Jack Curtis

Suspicious of government, doubtful of economics, fond of figure skating (but the off-ice part, not so much) Couple of degrees in government, a few medals in figure skating; just reading and suspicion for economics ...
This entry was posted in Bird Lovers, Birds, Budget, Climate Change, Congress, Fiscal/Financial Responsibility, Science and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Federal Government Cannot Duck This!

  1. sandrabranum says:

    Great post Jack. This reminds me of the huge amount of money wasted to discover the universe is actually beige, as if we care!

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