None Need Sleep Alone Any More…(Thank Congress)

Your CLOSE Friend…

Our ongoing report on the reconquest of America–by bedbugs–continues. After this enemy was exterminated by DDT, there was a long peace, a result of no enemy on the battlefield. We’ve had multiple generations of Americans who have no idea what a bedbug is. But the clever beasties enlisted their nuclear option to retaliate: the U.S. Congress. When DDT was picked up by farmers, it flowed from fields into water sources and made mischief with fish, birds and such, that called in the greenies who enlisted the media and the politicians saved us –and greenie votes–by banning DDT. Never mind that it stayed out of trouble when used inside homes instead of in fields and double never mind that it was the only really effective and cheap weapon against bedbugs. Who cares? Hasn’t been a bedbug in the U.S. in years! That was then.

Unfortunately, it seems the world’s improving economies have been adding folk to ships, trains, buses and airplanes from places that still enjoy the attentions of the little suckers. Bloodsuckers, specifically. And they now infest lots of airplanes, ships, trains, buses and believe it or not, apartments in Dallas. Bedbugs in Texas will explain.

ABout ten years ago, they turned up in some fancy New York hotels and even at Abercrombie and Fitch, not to mention the Big Apple’s public library. And they seem to have taken the advice of the old timers: “Go West!” because they’ve been doing that ever since. Now they’ve reached Texas officially and likely are in L.A. by now, unofficially. Busy airport at LAX, right?

But without DDT (Still available in some other countries, confined to interior walls to keep it out of the water supply) the little fellows rule; not much else is effective and what little is effective, isn’t very affordable. So, like he preceding invasion by us, the bugs will likely soon be enjoying the Pacific surf, having conquered the country from coast to coast.

Things have gone so far that per the story above, a standard Dallas rental agreement makes the tenant totally responsible for bedbugs, absolving the landlord of all responsibility. Add all this up; it seems to say we’d best get used to company when we sleep. DDT got rid of them last time but our greenies won’t allow us its use now; makes one wonder which side they’re really on, right?

Not everyone itches when they bite; some are allergic to their saliva, some aren’t. And they don’t, being small, take much blood. If you’re not sure you’re sleeping along, look for small, round, red-brown companions in the nooks and crannies of the bed, your couch, upholstered chairs, airplane seats, etc. Behind electrical wall outlets, too. Really! But don’t expect your landlord or an eviction order to expel them…

Just another saga of your government, helping you. You’ll never have to nap lonely again…

About Jack Curtis

Suspicious of government, doubtful of economics, fond of figure skating (but the off-ice part, not so much)
This entry was posted in Bedbugs, Congress, Domestic Policy, Environment and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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