Knives are much more dangerous than guns; a knife never runs out of ammo and can be used by an absolutely untrained amateur in total silence and with no need for good light. Those made of tough glass or hard plastic can pass metal detectors; a properly designed stiletto will pierce body armor capable of stopping bullets. And you know how far you’ll get claiming your gun is just a tool for peeling potatoes. The anti-gunners are a dangerous conspiracy attempting to distract us all from knives!
While we were distracted by the Colorado theater shooting, this story appeared: Chinese Teen Kills 9 in Knife Attack . And there were another 4 or 5 injured survivors; knives aren’t single-shot weapons, right? Oh, you say, but that’s China! As if Chinese are another species on some other planet. Well, same week, here’s New York: Random Stabbing. A lucky survivor of a purely random nut case gut-stabber. You can’t even walk from work safely.
Now, there is one –and only one– answer to this insuperable and irresponsibly ignored risk to which our politicians are leaving us exposed. OUTLAW KNIVES!
Only when every sharp and/or pointed instrument has been collected and sunk into the ocean will be be able to feel safe. The Congress must get off its collective dead end and put a law on the President’s desk forthwith. This is eminently do-able; the much-bandied Second Amendment to the Bill of Rights does not contain the word: “knife” at all. There is no well-financed National Knife Association with high-powered lobbyists in Washington. You’ll never see photos of Congressfolk carrying knives into duck-hunting blinds and you’ll never read of a high government official accidental slicing a hunting buddy by mistake. This can and must be done!
Yes, I know: food preparation. No problemo; the government will license properly trained and certified kitchen workers to own a limited number of specified knives for which they will re-qualify annually, illegal aliens of course, excepted. Sharpening will be obtainable only from current members in good standing of the Amalgamated Kinfe Sharpeners’ Union. Any non-union sharpening will result in license disqualification, illegal aliens again excepted.
Public schools will instruct appropriate grades in correct eating techniques based upon wooden spoons (forks will be discouraged, being pointed) and blunt chopsticks. This small set of simple, understandable measures will immeasurably improve public safety and has been overlooked for far too long.
Or, if these common-sense measures don’t appeal, you could consider this final story: Gunman Ends Stabbing Spree at Grocery