If the New York Times still leads the Liberal Green parade (debated) we’re in for some hot times in the Big Apple and elsewhere. We already know we use too much energy, live in oversized homes and drive oversized cars. Congress recently solved our too-bright light bulbs and Emperor–I mean, President Obama has ordered automakers to reduce us to miniature, hamster-powered vehicles but none of that addresses the huge energy waste of our air conditioning. The Times has pointed that out: A Luxury the World Can’t Afford goes right to the point. The rich world is wasting too much energy keeping cool in hot weather while the poor tropics unfaily sweat in the corruption, ignorance and poverty of their socialistic systems…no, no, in the colonial misery forced upon them by us.
Since we have given every sign of going right ahead making our lives even better and more comfortable with technology powered by increasingly cheaper energy, government has to be called upon to step in and, as only it cand do, prevent that awful development. All our resources have to be diverted from being wasted on us and used to cool those sweaty tropics that proved unable to do it on their own when we did it for ourselves. They deserve it; we don’t, simple!
So as our dreadful coal-fired power disappears and we begin to enjoy regular power outages when our unreliable and unaffordable (and not really ‘renewable’) power goes down we can take pride in who is the sweatiest by each June. Sweat is sexy! And we can use cheap, low-tech clothespins (obtainable at museums) on our noses in close quarters.
I have a plan for any entrepeneurial types out there guaranteed to make them rich: a whole new market that will open up as this progresses. People will want to wash their clothes more oten, right? But our washing machines use too much energy; that will defeat the purpose of cutting out air-conditioning; it will certainly be illegal. So someone will bring back your great-great grandmother’s wash board and get rich, though I’m not sure how they’ll do with phosphorous-free ‘soap.’
It’s hard to be sure how much of what is necessarily guesswork will in fact appear as this progresses but one thing I’ll bet: When you can’t stand July in a heat wave like our East is enjoying just now, you can always go to Al Gore’s house to cool off…