Plastic Bag Ban Approved For L.A. Markets tells followers of the Foldin’ State of its latest advance-to-the-rear. As always in modern CaliFunya, it’s improving things for the environment by making it more difficult and expensive for people to live in it. Following the environmentalists’ logic, they must soon advocate the extirpation of earth-based humanity if they seriously plan to save the poor, threatened planet. For whom they are saving it has somehow thus far escaped explanation.
The groups of ‘advocates and environmentalists’ that pushed all but one L.A. City Councillor into voting the ban had also demanded banning paper bags but even the shriveled menatalities of the Councillors twitched at that, probably at the thought of their spouses standing at the checkout stand before a pile of groceries lacking a cargo net. They made a gooo-faith effort, though; they have forced the markets to charge 10 cents per bag for the paper ones. It’ll be cheaper for you to bring your own bags, see? How clever is the liberal political mind!
The size of the grocery pile of many weekly family buyers suggests that Mom will need to bring her son’s little red wagon to bring her permanent bags into the store. Since such wagons won’t hold the bags after the store has filled them with groceries, this would seem to be a so far, unaddressed little sticking point. Maybe Mom can borrow a thought from her school-agers and learn to trek through life with a backpack on shopping days…that takes care of Mon, we’ll have to see what Grandma will do.
To be filed with the so far little-reported deaths of millions of birds resulting from electricity-generating windmills, it seems someone has discovered that permanent grocery bags tend to cultivate disease germs as they age…no doubt this is unreported mostly because Obamacare has already solved it somehow, at low cost and without increasing the deficit.
The paper bag inventory at homes will build up pretty fast and the damn’ things are bulky. You once received a bounty for returning used drink bottles to markets but paper doesn’t seem likely to hold up long for re-use and how many of the public school grads working in today’s markets would be able to re-fold them, anyway? A garagefull will be a fire hazard and they’ll take about a quarter of the average trash can, forcing a larger investment in those and thereby, larger trash pickup trucks or at least, more pickups. City unions will like this. While the paper will disintegrate in landfills, the bags will take up more space than limp plastic bags, making landfills bigger than before, unless maybe they can be soaked first. But water is getting scarce too…and they’d likely have to be mashed somehow anyway.
So lucky Angelenos will now pay more for grocery shopping, raising the already leading cost of CaliFunya living. Firemen and surgeons expert at fixing hernias will flock to the Foldin’ State, offsetting the exodus of plastics workers…truly, another triumph of the Left! You have to stand helplessly, wondering how they do it…